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Horseback Whaling

by Emma Park

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1.
you look nice tonight the city lights fade with the sunrise your blue eyes captivate mine and i'm not sure how to feel this time as i pull the sharp stones from my feet you laugh at the words i choose to speak you remind me of who i used to be as we dance together while you're driving the dirtiest air in the states has never felt so fresh in this abnormally cold summer morning and for the first time in weeks i sleep peacefully despite the storm surrounding me but the evening it comes suddenly the tempest decides to get back at me (secret words) i'm not down i'm just feeling it out
2.
these conversations precede these lacerations my exploitations are filled with accusations on my way home i am reeling indecisive and unresponsive take these words expose them on my legs aren't working anymore my constitution fails when i am moving i cannot contain the force of this hurricane through the windows back drafts howling outside the streets begin flooding grab my life boat and tanks of oxy- gen escapes my lungs
3.
with heavy heads we lit up cigarettes i bite my tongue as you spit epithets passing time is a waste of time but we stay up late and contemplate our position my hands shake as i watch your heart break i've walked a distance in your shoes isn't that what you wanted me to do? all i want is happiness for you but don't you think she deserves it, too? i hope you know that i'm terrified if you could only know what i'm thinking (static in my head creates a mess of words) you and i still can't hear anything (every singe night i was a drunkard) you became the burden i was to you (another cigarette describes your constant feed of diatribes) i hold back my tears only 'til you go inside to see what she's decided is it now we finally cut ties? is it now say our goodbyes? all i want is happiness for you but don't you think i deserve it, too? do i deserve a chance? i remain withdrawn and as you fall apart i hold you in my arms "i'm sorry" i know you hate me and i don't blame you but we got out of that town just not in the way we wanted to and i hope you know i treated her right just like you asked me to that night but things are better off this way you always said everything would be alright
4.
we drove south as fast we could you held your breath most of the way at this rate we i think we should arrive before it's too late when we did your family was everywhere around we all stood in the master bedroom they said prayers to calm all the children i could see the life in you leave when your mother passed next to you i did my best i held you to my chest "focus on my breathing, dear a part of her is in you, dear i'll never leave your side, my dear it's okay to cry, my dear can you hear my heart, my dear? it wasn't your fault, my dear" i know that you cannot hear me anymore i was honestly not thinking i lost myself when you needed healing and i don't blame you you needed to be set free i have so much to say but it's irrelevant anyway we went our separate ways so i moved out of state

about

here are are the rejected tracks/b-sides from Backyard Sailing

credits

released May 30, 2017

all these songs were recorded during the Backyard Sailing days.

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Emma Park Salt Lake City, Utah

Emma Park began as the solo work of Chas Hollingshead.

In June of 2017, Chas recruited Jared Montgomery (bass/vocals), Fae Thayne(guitar), and Courtney Shane(drums) to fill out live shows.

Emma Park is currently based in Salt Lake City, Utah as of 2017.
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